


Comfortable

by wuwu



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bonding, Genderqueer Character, brief mention of klance for like. one sentence, set sometime after ep 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7346248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wuwu/pseuds/wuwu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Wait,” Pidge speaks up. “I have something to say first.”</em>
</p><p>Lance isn't sure how Pidge chooses to identify once the Secret is out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Comfortable

**Author's Note:**

> i just want lance and pidge to bond Okay,,  
> srry if this seems too ooc but i wanted lance to be Serious

_“This is what being a paladin of Voltron is all about. It’s time to man up,” Hunk says._

_”Let’s get moving,” Shiro orders. “Time to go defend the universe.”_

_“Wait,” Pidge speaks up. “I have something to say first.”_

 

Things had turned out much better than expected for Pidge once she had up and came out with the secret tying her down. No longer would she feel forced to follow in the (very large) shadows of her fellow paladins. She could finally be free. Well, she wasn’t exactly limited in what she could do, but there was always a sense of unfulfillment when it came to replicating what her teammates accomplished in the field. Now there wasn’t any need to be like the others and she could just be herself, through and through.

Though, no matter how good that moment of revelation had felt, she still left the dining room with a sour taste in her mouth. Something about everyone’s response had hit a nerve she couldn’t quite place.

 

_”I’ve known for some time, but I’m glad you’ve shared it with everyone.” Allura gives a reassuring smile._

Something about the unwanted validation she gives leaves a knot in Pidge’s throat.

_“Yeah, I figured,” Hunk says._

_“Oh yeah, me too,” Keith adds._

_“Wait, we-we were supposed to think you were a_ boy _?” Coran questions._

All that work of trying to appear as male in order to save her family… It felt like it was done in vain. They made it seem like it was so easy to see through her disguise. Albeit she wasn’t very good at acting masculine, but should any personnel have been able to see through her ruse all of her efforts would be terminated. She knows they mean the comments in good nature, but it still gave her a nasty feeling.

 

Everyone except Lance and Shiro had hit a nerve. She’d expected Shiro to be understanding, having known about her identity due to being so close to her father and brother, but Lance’s reaction was a bit of a surprise.

It wasn’t _that_ much of a surprise, considering he’s _Lance_ , but after comparing his shock to everyone else’s acute knowledge, his response certainly did stick out. His slack jawed questioning and shrill screams echo throughout her mind, offering an odd sense of comfort. Something about the pure, unadulterated bewilderment he expressed felt a lot better to Pidge instead of the romanticized acceptance from her comrades.

She sits in silence for a few minutes, trying to decipher why she would feel comfort over something so dismissive and over the top, but a knock at her door rouses her from her cluttered thoughts.

“Come in,” she calls out. A few seconds pass, and as she considers walking up to the door herself it opens with a flourish and shows a sheepish figure behind it.

She doesn’t know who she thought would be at the door, but she certainly didn’t expect Lance to be there. The two had been pretty good friends before the whole Voltron situation, but with new arrivals to their group they had separated quite a bit. She’d thought they would just remain semi-okay friends, having thought Lance wasn’t very interested in her, so his appearance was definitely up for some speculation.

“What’s up?” Pidge asks in lack of a better conversation starter. Her head tips slightly to the side as she waits for a response. Lance looks a bit on edge, and judging by how he quickly jumps into the room and shuts the door, she can safely assume something is, in fact, up.

“Is someth-”

“I want to talk to you,” Lance blurts out.

Pidge stares up at him as he fidgets in place. One hand moves up to twirl his fingers in what small amount of hair he can grasp and the other arm crosses over his chest, supporting the former arm in its quest to curl Lance’s hair. She guesses he’s going for something nonchalant, but he’s obviously never had to act so before. That, or he’s never been good at it. Doesn’t he know that girls are the ones who twirl their hair?

“Sure, have a seat.” Pidge pats the space next to her on her bed and offers a small nod as Lance sits with a sigh. There’s an urge to try to lighten the mood since she’s only ever been around Shiro alone, but she resists. Having the Blue paladin so uncharacteristically quiet only makes things seem more serious.

“You remember what you told us in the dining hall the other day?” Lance asks. Pidge raises an eyebrow so he takes it as his cue to clarify. “The, uh. The girl thing.”

“Ohhh,” Pidge drawls. “Yeah, why? Is there… a problem?” She’d been hopeful that his confusion was something to be thankful for, but if issues were to arise Pidge didn’t know if she valued her safety or the team more. Hopefully she could stay on team Voltron, especially after that fit of wanting to leave to search for her family.

“No! No!” Lance shakes his head furiously, hands moving up in a defensive position. “I was just wondering what you meant by that, is all.”

“Were you confused these past few days?” She asks. A small laugh escapes her lips at the sight of Lance’s meek nod. “No wonder you’ve been avoiding me…”

“I just didn’t wanna say anything bad, y’know?” Lance says. “I may be a jerk, but I’m not an _asshole_.”

“Well, that’s debatable,” Pidge jokes. She quickly regrets saying the remark as Lance’s face slowly falls. “Kidding kidding!” She nudges their shoulders together and sighs inwardly at his relieved expression. He may not be an asshole but he certainly can be pretty dim at times. “I think it’s sweet that you asked, though. I wouldn’t peg you as one of those kinds of guys at first glance.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Lance stops her. “What part of me doesn’t seem like a nice guy? I know, I know. I’ve got devilishly good looks. But inside,” he brings a fist up and pounds it on his chest, “that’s a heart of gold Pidge-- wait, are you okay with me calling you Pidge?”

Pidge gives a nod with a smile. “Yeah, Pidge is fine.” There’s a warmth that floods her body as she sits alone with Lance. There’s nobody to put up fronts for and everything feels so… natural. Domestic, even. There’s nothing to worry about as she sits in the dim lighting of her room, side by side with her teammate, her _friend_. It feels nice to sit back and have a personal talk with someone with all the hustle and bustle going on. Poking fun is nice, but being able to unwind and bond is on a completely different level for her.

“So what do you prefer, then?” Lance asks. “Like… what should we call you? Not like names… The other thing.”

“Pronouns?”

“Yeah! What pronouns do you like?”

Pidge gives a hum as she mulls over the question. Of course using pronouns coordinating to her assigned sex would be acceptable, but there was something about Pidge Gunderson that made her feel at ease. She wouldn’t mind living as Pidge Gunderson, nor would she mind living as Katie Holt. She feels weird even considering the thought, but she finds that she doesn’t really mind what she’s referred to as. In the end, she’s still the same person, and it’s not like gender was ever really at the forefront of her mind. That does explain how ready she was to enroll as Pidge…

“Y’know, it doesn’t really matter what you choose,” Lance speaks up. Pidge doesn’t know how long she’s been silently contemplating, but she can guess it’s been awhile since he decided to break the silence. “I want you to be comfortable. I’m not gonna look down on you, and neither will the others. You’re part of team Voltron and you always will be.”

“W-wow, thanks Lance,” she breathes. “That was… awfully sincere of you.”

“H-hey, I’m just worried! I can’t be the one carrying the team if one of you can’t keep yourself together!” Lance turns his face away, hand moving up to cover his mouth.

“In that case, I guess I don’t really mind what you choose to refer to me as,” Pidge says.

“Really?” Lance asks. He turns to look at her with wide eyes, embarrassment forgotten. “Why’s that?” His innocent curiosity and earnest personality eases her mind as she finds that it becomes easier and easier to say more about herself and her feelings.

“Ah, well… I guess it just doesn’t feel important? I’ve lived as a girl and I’ve lived as a boy, even though it was short lived, and neither felt too different. Things were the same except for how people referred to me.”

“So what’d you go by before?”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to ask people that, but I have no reason to refuse, I guess.” She stands up from where she’s seated and walks over to a small nightstand in the corner of the room. Opening the drawer, she pulls out a photo and holds it carefully in her hands as she walks back to sit next to Lance. “That was me last year,” she says as she passes the photo.

“Woah, you were kinda h-”

Pidge raises an eyebrow, unamused.

“H… Heavenly! Hoo, what a sweet looking kid,” Lance stammers. He gives a choked up grin and sighs when Pidge only rolls her eyes.

“My parents named me Katie,” she says. “Katie Holt. That’s me with my brother, Matthew.”

“Katie’s a nice name,” Lance comments. “Why do you wanna go by Pidge?”

“Maybe because Katie was selfish,” Pidge admits. Her voice lowers as she stares at the crumpled photo, washed in melancholy and various foldings and unfoldings from being shoved in her pocket countless times in the past. “Before I really experienced what Voltron was like, I didn’t think of anyone but myself. Katie never did anything for others. Katie couldn’t look forward and see how much good could be done.. I don’t want to act so selfishly ever again. I want to be Pidge. I want to be on team Voltron and I want to save the universe. I want to do something for others instead of hiding behind old fears. I think… I think Pidge would be much better for that.”

Lance soaks in the words in silence before asking another question. “So are you still, like, Gunderson? That’s your last name, right?”

“Hmm, I think I’d much rather be Pidge Holt,” she says. “It feels like I can do so much more with two lives connected rather than banking on one of them alone.”

Lance hands the photo back to Pidge and stands up, stretching his back and he raises his arms. “Thanks for clearing that up,” Lance smiles. “And for, like, opening up and stuff. It was nice.” He ruffles her hair as she bats his hand away, muttering about how many tangles he’s going to put in her hair. He soon relents and makes his way towards the door, not wanting to overstay his welcome for once in his life.

“Yeah, well, it’ll be your turn soon,” she teases. 

“We’ll see about that,” Lance says.

“One day you’ll tell me about Keith!” Pidge calls out, laughing as he hurriedly rushes out of the room.

“Not listening, not listening!” He yells from down the hall.


End file.
